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 I feel very productive today. Though, really...I'm not. Hahaha.

It's just that I finished my Biochem 170 report! Yey! Imma report it on Wednesday and I was really driven to finish it today because of all the colorful graphics of molecules I saw on the internet while searching for the programs and their interfaces. But, aside from that I did nothing acad related. And I still have so many things to do!!!

[ ] Experimental Design for Sir Nevado (which is already a week overdue)
[ ] 3 Capsule Proposals for Biochem 199 due on Aug 20(and one of them should better be good so I can proceed with Thesis next sem... >.<)
[ ] Review for Bio 150 exam (Exam date possibly this Friday)
[ ] Protein Structure visualization for Biochem 170 due Wednesday(Just thinking of making a 50+ or possibly 100+amino acid sequence in HyperChem makes me feel sick)
[ ] STS report about Computers and IT due week after next

And...well, I just realized that the things I need to do are not so many after all. But I feel so LAZY. I FEEL LAZY. My main problem is the Experimental Design because I cannot make myself read any of the sites or journals I saw. Immunoglobulin readings make me sleepy. But I really need to do it. NOW.
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Amin kayong binabati sa espesyal na araw na ito. Nawa'y maging isang masayang araw ito para sa iyo. We love you, sir! Inuman!

From: Steph, Steph, Rox, Api

Current Mood: bouncy bouncy

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 I haven't posted any journal entry lately even though I really wanted to vent out furstrations and such. It's just the second month of the semester and I feel like I might faint from exhaustion already. Every week, every single bloody week, we pass two laboratory reports--and sometimes three when we have to do one for Bio 120 Lab too--and I'm so tired. So many people in our block already got sick even from the start of the school year. Some of them got sick, maybe because of the weather, but many of us got sick because of the heavy workload. It's definitely going to be the death of us.

I haven't written a single word for any of my stories because I don't have time--yet again. Semestral break!! I await for you with bated breath!

I'm so happy today! One of my favorite incomplete fics was just updated! I really couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that e-mail alert telling me that Chapter 18 was uploaded. I was paralyzed for about half-a-minute! Really!

Sigh. I wish I could have one week to rest and sleep and sleep and sleep. Just one week! But I know wishing can never do me good. I wished for a lot of things since I was a child. Only a handful of them came true.

Aaaaaaaaaand. I have exams--AGAIN--next week. Three bleeding exams. Hope I survive, even though my head still feels fuzzy. And I still have blood with my nasal mucus. I'm bleeding to death. Haha!

Current Mood: apathetic apathetic

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I just realized that I still haven't posted a public entry. Oh well, I can't very well show the things that I posted before for fear of someone reading it and telling it to the people who I do not want to inform of my negative feelings about.

It's just the third week of the semester and I'm dying because of the stress and the work and all of the thinking. And lately, I'm feeling disappointed with myself again. I don't have much self-esteem to begin with and I can feel myself losing it completely.

It's just so hard to be compared, you know. And to feel like, whatever you do, you can never sum up to the expectations the people have of you. I always feel that way. I know that they are always disappointed in me. I've accepted it a long time ago, but I guess the hurt still doesn't fade. It's as strong as ever. All I ever wanted was a pat on the back or a smile or an encouragement or anything that will tell me that they are proud of me and they will be proud of me no matter what.

But I guess, that will never happen. Not for as long as I will live. Oh well, I've learned to keep the hurt even before and I think I can still go on. But there is only too much an idiot and disappointment like me could take.
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